To Correct or Not to Correct

The first thing this disease seems to do is destroy some of the short-term memory links in the brain. Notice that I said some of the short-term memory links. I have no clue how the brain works in technical terms. I can only record my observations of the progress of the disease in my mother. It seems that some of the brain’s wiring is gone, while other wiring remains intact. One never knows what she will remember and what she won’t. Some things you tell her will be gone in two minutes and other things will be there next week.

Here is an example of what sticks. I told her about the birth of her first great, great, grandchild last fall. She still remembers that very well. It seems that information bypassed her faulty brain wiring and linked to the family section of her brain through the healthy long-term wiring. That part of her brain is where she has the memories of the baby’s mother, Annie, and she added Lily to that section. She also remembers that two of her grandsons were graduated from High School last year. She forgot, however, to mail out the graduation cards to them. She had purchased them at the store and I found them on a table in the kitchen a month or so later. I can’t explain what happened, except that she purchased them, remembering that they were graduating, then forgot that she had purchased them by the time she got home. The whole event was a combination of long-term and short-term memory gone array.

Here is an example of what does not stick. When I call her on the telephone she will always ask me if we have much snow. I answer the question and a few minutes later she will ask me the same question. Over the course of the conversation she may ask the same question four or five times, each time getting the same answer. What should I do? Should I correct her by reminding her that she just asked me that question? I have chosen not to, mainly because I know that she has no idea that she already asked me the same question. Besides, what good would it do? It would not help her short-term wiring to restore itself. It may even have a negative effect if I continued to correct her by adding guilt or sadness to her already sad prognosis. I have decided that if I have to answer the same questions over and over again that is the least I can do for this woman who deserves to be treated with dignity, even as her illness progresses.

I am sure this is why caregivers of folks with Alzheimer’s disease become frustrated. I have decided that frustration only complicates the situation and I am going to try to avoid it. Some of the best minds in the world still have not been able to cure the progression of this disease. How would my frustration and continual correcting my mother help her? It would not help a twit. It would only make everyone nervous about being around each other.

One day in the future mom’s long-term wiring will also give way. I am not prepared for the day when she will not recognize me. I hope I will deal with it correctly and treat her with the respect and love that she will need even then. She fed me, kept me warm, wiped my butt and snotty nose when I was too young to know what I was doing. The least I can do is return the favor. It will be a pleasure.